Phobias

Today I want to focus on all the types of phobias that we experience in my family.  I know that I won't be able to touch all of them, but I can sure give it a whack!  These are the ones that are VERY common in my personal family.  At least one of me, my spouse or children experience at least one of these each and every day.

BUGAPHOBIA: n. the fear of ALL bugs big or little, black, white, red or polka dot, four legs or 100,000,000 legs, jumpers, crawlers, flyers, two eyes or 20 eyes…basically anything that isn't human!

When my oldest was about 3 years old she would scream bloody murder if a fly landed anywhere near her.  My sweet hubby would tease her and say "There's a fly on your head" just to hear her scream and flap her hands in the "mad ninja" positions.  She has since grown out of THAT extreme, but this is what she looks like when dealing with a spider:

 
TOILEPHOBIA:  n. the fear of using any toilet that isn't located in your own home, or in our case, one that isn't on the same level of the home that your bedroom is located.

Even my extended family suffers from this phobia.  We have had extremely long drives that in reality only lasted 5 -10 minutes because someone didn't want to go potty before we left the store.  You know the signs of when your little one needs to "go": they jump around, stick their tushy up in the air, drop what they are doing and dance a little jig, but when asked if they need to "go" they simply say "NOPE" and continue their little dance.  By the time they get in the car they realize that they REALLY need to "go" and now the 5 minute drive seems like a 5 hour drive home to the safety of their very own potty.  Then when the home is in sight there is calling of "dibs" on who actually gets to use the "facilities" first (the youngest usually gets to go first due to bladder size).

If by some chance you are unable to make it to your own toilet, you succumb to the inevitable use of the public restroom where you then turn into an amazing contortionist who can hover three feet above the ground for more than 30 seconds!  My brother calls this the "hover" technique.

GERMAPHOBIA:  n. the fear of germs of any kind.

Yes, this is what I look like almost constantly!

This is my worst nightmare!  I am such a germaphob that I even ask visitors if they washed their hands after using my facilities.  Yes, I have been known to ask my own father this very question "Did you wash your hands?"  I can't stand germs of any kind!  We are constantly washing hands for everything: when they come in from the yard, before they eat, after they touch the dog, after sneaking a pick at their nose or blowing it, after facility usage,….well, you get the idea.  The worst is a buffet place.  You know the sneeze guard is too high for it to give any protection to the food from a kid! 

SLEEPAPHOBIA: n. the fear of sleep after an amazing day at the farm with family.

This is where the parents are so exhausted from running around keeping tabs on the children so they don't get trampled or eaten by the farm animals that they fall straight into bed and pray the kids will fall asleep just as quick.  BUT, are sadly mistaken when said children are so fired up on adrenaline that they bounce around the room and generally keep themselves awake by coming out of their room to ask silly questions just so they can avoid the inevitability of going to sleep for the night.  The only thing I can figure is that they are afraid of missing the next great thing to happen, even though it is 9 pm and NOTHING else is going to happen!

 

DISHAPHOBIA: n. the fear of doing dishes without being asked.

Even though this is probably self-explanatory, I will elaborate.  At my house we have a chore chart, just like any other normal family.  HOWEVER, the chores don't always get done if I, as a mother, don't point out to said children that the chores REALLY DO need to be done.  The biggest neglected job is dishes, and we even own a dishwasher!  NO ONE likes to clear or fill the thing, which leads to a weekend of "cleaning the kitchen".  Don't get me wrong, we never eat on dirty dishes (remember I suffer greatly from germaphobia), and we haven't had to resort to paper and plastic, but sometimes I would rather have a root canal than ask my family to do the dishes!

I wonder if you can relate to any of the above phobias.  Let me know, it would be interesting to know if other people face these same maladies, other phobias that your crew faces, or if these are only specific to my crew!